


perfect blue

by jeongyeon



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, angsty samo, good ending though, i think, previously on aff, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 01:39:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13330752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeongyeon/pseuds/jeongyeon
Summary: Sana’s bittersweet sadness is something she hasn’t gotten over for years. But the world, and Momo, change it all.





	perfect blue

**Author's Note:**

> an old fic i wrote a couple months back (my writing style has changed drastically) and it was originally posted on aff... i figured it’d be nice to post this, since it’s one of the few things i’m proud of back then (ignore the typos if you see any LMAO)

“But when you say,

Oh baby, you're my best friend,”

“Then I lose, I lose my common sense,

I'm kind of blue it's the truth.”

 

 

Sana sucks.

Maybe not at flirting mindlessly, but at everything else in the love demographic. But she did suck at her controlling her temper, and Jihyo wasn’t really having it that morning.

“Change it!”

Jihyo only reclines in her seat, giving her a resigned look. Sana isn’t a morning person but she is a tantrum person— and the former is more than fed up with her.

“Do you have a problem, Sana?” Jihyo spoke sardonically, rubbing her temples and her tired eyes and she returns to writing up their student rota soon after.

“You know I do, Park.” Sana groans and she slams her hands on the table so her full, newly-brewed coffee spills over her work and onto Jihyo’s glasses, a nice touch physics decides to play on her.

Jihyo exhales deeply, grimacing as the hot coffee bounces off her glasses.

“Go speak to Nayeon if you’re so bothered about it,” she huffs, wiping her glasses with her own shirt, “And don’t tell me you _aren’t_ bothered about it.”

“I’m dealing with you first, head girl.”

Jihyo purses her lips, “How many times do I need to tell you I’m not the head girl?” And she fishes out another clean, A4 piece of paper with the rota already filled in from under her desk and a pin too, “—And no, I don’t have a single influence over Nayeon. Besides, that’s against the rules.”

Jihyo smiles, though Sana can’t see, and she makes her way out the room and to the notice board down the hallway, and the latter’s already following her out of the room hot on Jihyo’s heels.

“We all know everyone listens to you, regardless,” Sana snaps, stopping as they reach the empty notice board, “Last summer, Hyojung was elected head girl, and she still listened to whatever you said. And you were a junior. You’ve had every prefect elected wrapped around your finger since you were a freshman, I don’t know how, but you’ve got Nayeon manipulated like a damn puppet.”

“Okay, hear me out, Minatozaki,” Jihyo pins the piece of paper against the wall and she turns to face Sana, “One, janitor duty isn’t that bad, it’s quite fun actually, calming almost, sweeping the floors quietly, washing the windows— but that’s besides the point,” Jihyo shakes her head, changing her train of thought, “Two, everyone needs to do something. Are you suggesting you lazy about? There’s nothing wrong with being the student janitor, so I don’t see the source of your problems.”

“Are you doing this just because you want to avoid me for every job?” She takes Jihyo’s silver tooth, as a: ‘Yes, I’m controlling Nayeon secretly because I want her to pair me up with anyone but you’ smile.

“You still haven’t answered my question as to why you’re so lenient on changing jobs. I have my arguments, where are yours?” Jihyo knows damn well why Sana’s mad.

Sana lets out a sigh and lands two hands onto the wall, leaning with a tired stupor realising then how awfully weak she was at 5AM (and that she really was not a morning person), so she gives up, “The other column, Jihyo, next to the duty one.”

Jihyo’s fingers trace along the top row before it reaches ‘students’, and sees that Sana’s name is written directly below ‘Hirai Momo’. In the same box. She only laughs as she reads it, and as soon as she meets Sana’s gaze she’s entirely sure she struck a nerve.

“Oh, the wonderful Momo. What’s wrong with her?” Jihyo scorns, tapping her name. Sana can feel her patience tugging at her, but she only grits her teeth and responds with a glare that surely won’t be forgotten.

“You know, you devil.”

 

 

 

 

“ _Christ_ , Sana doesn’t look so happy,” Jeongyeon adds as she watches Sana exit the breakfast buffet hall so early, “What do you think’s up with her this time?”

Mina and Tzuyu both shrug instinctively, as they’re too busy shoving French toast down their throats.

Jeongyeon shoots them both a glare, and Tzuyu’s the first one to speak up (voluntarily) having them choke themselves at the expense of free food, “She’s always moody, though, no?”

Mina nods, stealing the last piece of toast from the middle of the table, “Moody can be a longshot. Pissed might be the better word.”

And it doesn’t take a moment for Jeongyeon to snicker at the remark.

Chaeyoung settles her book down on the table, weighing in on the topic softly, “I’m sure Sana will have the time of her life explaining to us why she didn’t join us for breakfast—but for now,” And her eyes glare at three sitting opposite her, “Can you shut up and eat in peace, without talking crap behind anyone’s back?”

“We’re just suggesting, Chae,” Dahyun replies defensively, taking a seat next to Jeongyeon having heard the whole conversation, “I think my best-friend’s pissed at someone.”

“Well that’s nice, isn’t it?” Nayeon soon arrives only having heard Dahyun’s last line, and she places her plate down next to Tzuyu who’s already eyeing the fresh food, “Sana’s pissed at well, let’s assume one of us. And we all know she’s always pissed at Momo for some odd reason. So, who’s the only one not around except for her?”

The girls exchange glances and Jeongyeon mutters quietly under her breath, “Jihyo.”

“ _Im_   _Nayeon_ , did she tell you to do something, _again_?” Dahyun asks almost instantly and she’s pulls a face that’s more than disgruntled.

“I might’ve…” Nayeon gazes down at the floor and shifts in her seat.

“Put her name next to Momo’s at the expense of your bathroom times? Because I know Jihyo takes five hundred years to shower, God knows what she does in there… I’m surprised she’s not wrinkly—anyway, that’s totally unrelated,” Dahyun pauses and gets back on track, having imagined the horrific scene, “Nayeon, you seriously need to pair Momo up with someone else.”

“Why is that a problem?” Jeongyeon’s asks likely to have only started listening when her roommate’s name was mentioned.

Dahyun only lets out a deep sigh, and waves her hand either to say she’s totally done with Jeong or given up, theoretically, it’s both, “Sana hates her, and it’s for some odd, odd reason.” Dahyun adds, and she steals the remaining pancake left on the table.

 

 

 

 

“I’m not gonna talk to her, Dahyun.”

Dahyun slowly lowers the book that’s covering her face and she rolls her eyes, “I’m not surprised, Sana.”

“You’re a bitch to her,” Jihyo adds.

Sana thumps her chest from almost choking on her snack.

“I mean,” Nayeon continues trying to even out the offence taken as she applies lipstick in the common-room’s many mirrors, “She’s one of the nicest people here and well…look at you, Momo’s less than harmless.”

“I’m a bitch to everyone. I thought it wouldn’t come off as a surprise,” Sana elicits a humourless laugh, though the six girls around her have near-to-nothing expressions on their faces.

“Shocking,” Dahyun whispers as she eyes Momo enter the room, though loud enough for the seven girls now huddling around the table to hear, “Truly, shocking.”

Momo settles down opposite Sana, though it wasn’t a coincidence because no one had purposely sat there.

“I heard everything by the way,” Momo carries the conversation, folding her legs up onto the armchair, though she didn’t look in the slightest bit irked. Well, Nayeon was more than right when saying she was harmless; she wore a peach-coloured sweater, a beanie, slippers… the girls weren’t exactly sure what Sana hates about her, “And I did talk to Jihyo about it.”

Tzuyu, who was aimlessly playing thumb wars with Mina suddenly turns her head at the discussion, Mina following suit. Momo casts her gaze around the room, only chuckling after she saw everyone’s expectant faces, and Sana’s well, uninterested one.

“I said I would do it.”

‘ _Unbelievable. Jihyo can suck — whatever she wants — if she thinks this little façade is going to work_.’

Sana sets a glare on Jihyo, who’s too busy eyeing Nayeon, who’s now directing a leering stare at Myoui Mina, who’s snuggling up way too close to the Taiwanese, but Tzuyu doesn’t seem to mind because _everything’s_ platonic for her.

Nayeon’s also glaring at the two too affectionately close to each other next to her, but Sana’s too busy sounding out Momo’s voice to notice.

Momo frowns a little after hearing Jeongyeon’s reaction, “But. She’s. What. Impossible.”

She wonders why her friends (minus Sana), have such scathing opinions on her treatment towards her.

“There’s nothing wrong with Sana,” Momo talks as if Sana wasn’t in the room, checking her non-existent notifications and messages to avoid chiming in the conversation, “I don’t know why you guys make a big deal out of it. We’re just cleaning together.”

 _‘Cleaning together is exactly why I’m vomiting_ ’, Sana thinks to herself.

“You know that Sana isn’t exactly your nicest admirer, though, right?” Dahyun asks, and Sana rolls her neck at the statement.

“I’m not stupid,” Momo responds and she slaps the back of Dahyun’s head. She continues, after Dahyun’s unbearable laughter ceases.

“But there’s always room to,” and she picks up the dictionary next to her on the drawer, tapping a word in the book after flicking through an odd few pages, “Aim…lo…rat.”

“Ameliorate, you mean,” Mina corrects, digging her face in Nayeon’s chest out of laughter, “I’m not sure what you were trying to achieve there.” 

(Though the last part was probably intelligible through Mina’s cackles.)

“What Mina said.”

“She still fully resents you, Momo.” Nayeon bluntly adds though her gaze is fixed on the red-head currently laughing insanely, and Momo shakes her own.

“Optimism is key, no?” Momo says and she looks vacantly at Sana, as if waiting for a response.

The latter only shrugs and returns to avoiding any substantial conversation with her, and Momo isn’t fazed, instead she lets out a light laugh, “Well, improvement, isn’t it?”

 

 

 

 

 

“Isn’t it time to get some athleticism in your bones?” Sana jogs, forever cheerful her gym class doesn’t involve Hirai Momo, and they’re probably 30 metres apart right now on the track, “Keep up, dubu!”

“Why are you so happy now? Who even put you in charge of leading the practice? Can’t you exchange mute Sana with this Sana? I’m voting Mina back in charge—” Dahyun complains, though Sana acts like she can’t hear any of it and slaps her hands to her ears.

It’s a gruelling half an hour for Dahyun who, along with Tzuyu, Mina, Jeongyeon, Minky, Eunwoo and Jieqiong, suffers through Sana’s somewhat shitty warm-up. But you can’t tell her they all think that.

“Okay ladies,” Sana pants, obviously out of breath, but she’s all too happy now that she’s away from Momo (who’s actually in the higher set of girls doing gym, but again, you can’t tell her that), “We’re gonna attempt this!” Sana’s hands are on her hips and she nods at the hurdles in front of her.

“Are… you crazy?” Jeongyeon asks, in accurate shock and she speaks for all of the girls there, “We’re never gonna get over that.”

“Hurdles are easy, y’big baby,” Sana says confidently, cracking her fingers, and she ushers everyone into a line to attempt it, without any prior knowledge.

The girls were in the lanes though most of them weren’t paying attention, Mina stares off intro the fields where Nayeon's class is and quite pitifully Tzuyu tries garnering the attention of her, Minky, Jieqiong and Eunwoo are too busy trying to tie their laces. Dahyun and Jeongyeon try restrain Sana from whatever embarrassment she's definitely going to get.

“Ready,”

“Set,”

“Go!”

Sana shouts shrilly, enthusiastically, brashly, though it’s all too perfect that Sana attempts the first jump, keyword: _attempts_ , and in a few seconds, she’s toppling over the hurdle as an ‘oomph’ escapes her lungs.

Jeongyeon’s the first one to run over, well, because, she didn’t even run, and she doesn’t help either, because she’s laughing insanely at the sight of Sana on the floor and her face in a pothole of the track filled with rainwater.

“No one help her, God, this is too funny,” No words seep out of Sana’s mouth as she convinces herself that she is definitely embarrassed out of her mind, and her limbs don’t move an inch out of pride. She’ll lay there for the rest of the day if she has to.

Sana manages to flip over and all the girls huddle around to see what’s happening.

“Woah,” Dahyun chuckles, and she suppresses a giggle at the sight of it, “Your makeup’s all ruined.”

“Yes, I feel that,” Sana says firmly and Tzuyu helps her up.

“Your face is…”

“Messed up,” Dahyun chortles at the misfortune of her best-friend, pressing her palms to her lips so she doesn’t get hit for laughing again.

“Soaked was the word, but yeah, tell me more,” Sana wipes her face, careful not to make herself look like more of an idiot than she already does, and her patience is tugging harshly when she hears Jeongyeon snigger like she always does, so she quickens her pace to reach the locker rooms faster.

Thankfully, no one else is in there and no one else has to see her ‘messed up’ face.

Well, if Momo counts as ‘no one else’.

‘ _Christ, is she everywhere I go?_ ’

Sana doesn’t say a word, only gives an uncomfortable smile, and makes her way past the girl who… just took a shower, and to the sinks to wash off dirty water and ruined make up.

“Did you fall?” Momo asks, putting her uniform back on and Sana wonders why she even bothered trying to hold a conversation, and why she’s getting dressed up so early when there’s still a quarter of the lesson left, and why she’s the only one in there with her.

“And?” Sana spits and turns to look at her having washed off the majority of the dirt and water solution off her face, “It’s none of your business.”

Momo’s in shock for a split second, but returns to her resting smile.

“Sorry for asking,” Momo apologises, and it sounds sincerer than any of Sana’s sorry attempts at redeeming herself to anyone.

“Okay then,” She replies, though it’s quite dry and blunt, and Momo can only stay silent.

For the remainder of the hell that Sana was experiencing now, Sana decides to remain in the locker room only because she doesn’t dare step foot on the track ever again, not because Momo’s in it.

But if it came to avoiding your mood-dropper and your utter embarrassment, Sana’d take the suffering of one person rather than her whole class.

Momo’s done dressing at this moment in time and when she realises Sana’s sitting, quietly for once, without a resting bitch face, she reminds her of their duty they’d have later that night.

“Don’t forget!” Momo cheers, slinging her backpack round her shoulder, which was met with a mockingly loud “Whatever!” from Sana.

_‘This girl doesn’t take a hint when I say, I don’t want to goddamn talk to you.’_

 

 

 

 

 

“Would anyone care to inform me why none of you pointed out I had a very, very, very obvious cut across my nose?” Sana demands, storming into the common room with a bandage exactly where she had mentioned moments ago.

“I did try…” Momo says too quietly, though too quiet that only Nayeon hears it and gives a sympathetic smile at her.

“Goodness, you look hilarious,” Jeongyeon buts in, chewing on a piece of gum, and Sana was very close to holding her face still between a clamp and yanking the gum out her mouth herself, “Though…” she gulps and sees the implicit rage in the brunette’s eyes, “In our defence—”

“Don’t bring us into this, loser,” Tzuyu says, speaking for Mina and Dahyun, who are both fast asleep on two armchairs respectively.

“Jeong, you totally saw it, why didn’t you tell me?”

The short-haired girl doesn’t have the privilege of cowering behind long hair, so she opts for making a run for it as a very livid Sana chases behind her.

“Does this usually happen?” Momo asks, unfamiliar with it because she never really had a great interaction with the runaway brunette.

“All the time, trust me,” Chaeyoung adds, and returns to drawing the sleeping Dahyun and Mina in front of her.

“Interesting, Kind of. Is Sana always…”

“Pissed?” Tzuyu answers in a half question, half answer tone, and she stands up carefully as to not wake Mina who’s snoozing off in her lap to make another cup of hot chocolate, “I think that’s the word you’re looking for.”

“Sana’s actually incredibly flirty, but of course you weren’t going to see that side of her anytime soon,” Nayeon laughs, though it’s without any humour and her face is almost smug, “Sana says she only flirts with girls that are her type. And with her strong sense of resentment she has towards you, I don’t think in all Sana’s little affability, is being nice written in her book for you.”

“I don’t know how you keep up with her,” Chaeyoung weighs in on the conversation, still scribbling on her notepad.

“Well, when I had saw Jihyo put me with her, I wasn’t all that surprised.”

“Why is that?” Tzuyu asks, and she’s suddenly interested in the chat again after deciding now would be the time to spill some gossip.

Momo exhales deeply, wondering why it was all still a mystery to them.

“Well, I’m best friends with Mina, and well, Jihyo being Jihyo always jumps to conclusions and thinks that we’re more than that. But I wouldn’t sabotage the beautiful companionship she has with Tzuyu,” The last line earns her a glare and she’s lucky Mina was asleep because Tzuyu was more than great at being secretive with her love life, “Anyways, Jihyo seems protective over someone, so, she told Nayeon to pair me with up Sana because she _hates_ me.”

“Just as a sidenote,” Nayeon raises a finger, “I’m not a bad prefect. Jihyo told me if she could decide the rota she’d get me a date with,” Nayeon pauses and in Momo’s eyes it’s far from evident she’s lying because the person she really wants a date with is definitely in the room, “ _Jeongyeon_ , and so far, I think I’ve been scammed.”

I Chaeyoung only laughs and finally settles down her note pad, and her gaze meets Nayeon’s, “How come I’m so uninformed here? First, I just know now Nayeon wants a date with Jeong, second, Tzuyu’s overly affectionate to Mina, what next, Momo secretly likes Sana?”

That earns a small gasp from Momo who nearly chokes on her drink.

Tzuyu suddenly lets out an ‘oooh’, and quickly diverts her attention off staring at Mina while she’s sleeping and says, “So, do you hate or love Sana?”

“Neither.”

“That’s smart, Tzuyu,” Chaeyoung responds, tapping her pencil against her temple, “That means she li-,”

Momo stretches her arms and purposely knocks Chaeyoung in the face to shut her up, and although it was too obvious in Momo’s head, the girls are too busy laughing at Chaeyoung’s demise to even remember what she was saying. Luckily.

“Don’t you dare,” Momo manages to whisper out of the corner of her mouth and Chaeyoung only nods, an easy grin on her face.

“I better get ready,” The awake Japanese faux yawns, “And you — keep your mouth shut, little girl.”

(Chaeyoung takes slight offense.)

 

 

 

 

 

“Oh, you’re awake,” Mina’s sudden opening of her eyes startles the girl, who only beams a smile in response. Mina shuffles up from her position so she sits upright next to her, and rests her head on the taller girl’s shoulder.

“What kind of response is that?” Mina pouts, sinking back into her the chair.

“An excited one, as always.”

The red-head’s gummy smile suddenly appears again and she realises they’re the only two left in the common room.

After a few seconds of telling Tzuyu what her dream was about, Mina has a tight frown on her face as soon as she remembers what she was going to tell the girl before she had fell asleep, “I’ve meaning to tell you. It’s my senior year, and you’re still a sophomore. I think I’ll have to focus on my studies which means less movie nights, and well, worst of all, no sleepovers.”

Tzuyu reciprocates the frown and Mina pulls on the girl’s cheeks, turning it into a wary curve of her lips.

“This doesn’t mean I can’t come in and be your personal vitamin when you’re at cheer practice, I can be as embarrassing and as obvious all you want, and it’s at the expense of a very guilty Mina.”

Tzuyu nods and she shies away from Mina’s hand tucking a loose strand of hair back behind her ear, “Whatever, big baby.”

“You’re the big baby,” Mina jokes and she throws punches at the girl’s arm playfully as if it was a (very soft) punching bag, and Tzuyu can’t help but play along so she grab’s Mina by her shoulders to prevent her from squirming (and she doesn’t), and they both roll off the chair, giggling in the late hours.

“As expected from the high flier,” Mina says and her voice is brittle, only because she’s staring straight into Tzuyu’s eyes and Tzuyu’s staring right back, and that’s the only reasonable option because Tzuyu landed straight on top of Myoui Mina herself.

And she doesn’t even mind, as it’s all too wonderful and Tzuyu grips on Mina’s hands better; so she doesn’t move at all, whispering at the end of the two minutes they had spent leering at each other,

“You’re cute.”

And before Mina couldn’t even speak a breath of thanks, Tzuyu presses her lips against Mina’s, and her chest is beyond the state of butterflies, more than comfortable and warm, because she had been wanting to do this for the past two years.

After the seemingly short make out, Mina finally speaks up to respond, “My best friend definitely needs a girlfriend if she kisses like that.”

Though Mina’s evidently smiling and chuckling, rainbows and unicorns and all that — with lack of a better word — _shit_ , Tzuyu’s face is more than the opposite.

 

 

 

 

 

 

They were lucky Sana and Momo hadn’t started doing their janitor job yet, or else they would’ve been caught fooling around.

And if you could imagine it, you’d probably see Sana explaining why taking things slow is totally an option and that dating is quite gross, and Momo congratulating Mina in every way possible and calmly and friendlily suggesting Tzuyu not hurt Mina in any way.

Of course, that never happened, because one, Mina just best-friend-zoned her, and because two, Sana’s too busy moping about in her dorm room to Dahyun to even consider Mina and Tzuyu dating.

“Sana, I love you, I really do, and I’d do anything to keep whatever annoying happiness you seem to bottle up and explode in one go, but in the name of all things holy, shut up.”

“You were going to say shut the fuck up weren’t you?” Sana suggests, stopping her tantrum walk to either side of the room, which she had been doing for the past five minutes continuously, and she rocks back on forth from her heel to her toe.

“I don’t swear, Sana.”

Sana pushes her hair back over her shoulder flippantly, pretending to not have listened to Dahyun’s white lie (which would have probably upset her mother if she ever found out she did), and she says in a tone Dahyun found quite disgusting, “Well, I’m just going to put out there I never heard you say that, and well, on a note that’s completely related to the conversation and something that you can’t pass up—,”

Dahyun places her phone down on her lap, glaring at Sana from the top of her glasses, “I’m not doing whatever you’re about to say.”

Sana’s in shock for a moment because that girl had definitely accused her before she even let out a breath of her offer, “Come on, Dubs, I bought you lunch yesterday.”

“You did,” And she says in a convincing tone, though she’s Dahyun, she knows how to put up with Sana’s crap, “But you did eat it yourself because your churros, which you ended up not even ordering, never came while I went to the restroom, which is when you ate it— out of habit or whatever excuse you came up with that day, the point is, you ate my food. And you made me pay for it, which is even worse than the time you—,”

“Okay, okay, Christ, I get it. Just do me a solid?”

“No,” Dahyun states bluntly, and she returns to surfing through her phone.

“Please?”

“I said no.”

“Pretty please?”

“Even if it’s a pretty please and you’re saying it, it’s still a no.”

“You’re the worst.”

“Likewise,” Dahyun concludes, tapping the watch on her wrist signifying that yes, Sana had failed to make Dahyun do her janitor shift that night, and that yes, it was time for Sana to set foot in hell, which was talking to Hirai Momo.

“Well? Get out so I can get some sleep.”

 

 

 

 

Mina and Nayeon had already concluded their night shift of patrolling the areas for a good hour to see if anyone was outside during bedtime hours, and it was probably Mina’s fault their shift had elongated; by the time they were done it was already midnight. And the two Japanese made their way towards the janitors closet to get the supplies to clean the dormitory areas.

“Can I suggest we organise… something?”

“What janitor job needs organising,” Sana hisses and she continues putting on her uniform which barely fits her, comparing to Momo whose outfit is incredibly oversized, yet she doesn’t blink an eye of pity when she realises they’re wearing each other’s outfit, “Just clean whatever seems dirty and unclean.”

Momo had a right mind to go and start sponging Sana, she is the epitome of filth, but she holds back, and only grins.

“Whatever you say, princess,” She mouths and she’s quite lucky the brunette doesn’t even look at her.

“You can scrub the windows; the sponge would ruin my nails,” Sana says and she lobs two yellow sponges her way and kicks a bucket of detergent and water, because one, Sana is more than livid that it was taking up her beauty sleep and because two, Sana doesn't like Momo. If that wasn't so obvious by now.

Momo’s actually quite taken aback that the girl could respond to her, though it's out of annoyance, progress is progress, “So…” And she continues sponging the glass walls that were less than dirty, because she had been scrubbing the same spot for a good minute.

“I’m not talking to you.”

Oh. There you go.

“That's fine, I don't mind.”

“I don't care.”

“I thought you weren't talking to me?”

Sana slams her mop down, turning to face the girl almost instantaneously, “Stop provoking me. How's that, sweetheart?”

“Oh, so I’m a sweetheart now?” Momo’s tone is calmer and more soft, though Sana only thinks why the hell she hasn't stopped talking yet.

“I said, don't talk to me.”

“Whatever, princess.”

“What did you just say?” She began to speak in a brittle, staccato voice and Sana only grips on her mop tighter, more than sure she would've broke it right there and then if it wasn't for her little self-control left, “I’m assuming you don't mean the good kind of princess.”

“I’m not calling you a brat, Minatozaki.”

Oddly, it was a nonplus that Momo had said her name, quite smoothly, it felt as if it rolled off her tongue easily, and Sana only furrows her eyebrows and realises, she's very, very stubborn.

“Then what are you calling me?” She responds almost out of instinct.

“It doesn't matter. I shouldn't be talking to you, right?” Momo says in Japanese even if she sounds like beginner learner, and Sana swears her attempts to stupefy her definitely worked, because Momo had spoken so casually and Sana couldn't think a word in her thoughts after hearing her darling accent.

The moment was all a little too bijou, though Sana’s too caught up in staring and wondering what the hell just happened to even notice how the hallway definitely seems to get too twee for her liking (though it was tolerable) and snuggly and…

Christ, Sana, snap out of it.

“It doesn't matter?” Sana reciprocates her tone and lets out a chuckle that's neither amusing or sarcastic, and she pseuds an adhering grin when she continues, “Yeah, like I care.”

(She was confident in her Japanese, rightly so.)

It had only taken them a good hour to scrub and mop the dormitory areas, because there was no conversation that sparked after the stupidly short and unnecessarily malignant conversation.

Momo had shot the few glances at the girl that was working hard, a rare sight, and most importantly, Sana didn’t notice.

If you were there you could definitely feel the draft that came from one of the open windows, that Momo and Sana both were too short to close, and it gave the air an even more gawky feeling.

The rest of the night consists of glares, stares, snarling and ignoring, all of which they did exceptionally well.

 

 

 

 

 

That was definitely one of the weirdest nights Sana’s experienced.

Tomorrow morning was no opposite, she had only spoke a measly ‘good morning’ to Dahyun that had already preoccupied the bathroom when she had needed it, and there were no words spoke soon after. Sana, in a sense, was in a more than dire mood.

“Cut the crap,”

She rubs her eyes because she too had not gotten much sleep either, and she regrets having a one on one talk with Sana while in soccer practice, because it's one of her very, very susceptive moods; though someone must take one for the team, and it’s none other than the captain, Myoui Mina.

“You haven't spoken to anyone at all, Sana.”

“That's my intention,” She spits and kicks the ball back to Mina, who has an expectant face on trying to fish out what Sana’s angry about, “But you made yourself an exception.”

“Well, can you at least tell me what's wrong?”

“Isn't it obvious? Your best friend?” The ball returns to Sana after Mina’s light kick and she holds it under her feet, “I don't think I can live peacefully with her walking around.”

Mina exhales deeply, wincing as Sana’s studs dig into the ball she had just pumped up after she burst their previous one, “I get that, I just wanna know why.”

“You don't need to know.”

Being the only good track runner in their school, Mina runs over and snatches the slightly punctured ball from under Sana’s foot too quickly that Sana almost trips backwards, and she holds the ball with her fingers over the tiny holes, then kicks it in her direction, barely missing Sana’s body, “You will tell me.”

Speaking honestly, Mina had never gotten angry, and if she had it was something small and reasonable, unlike Sana’s fits of shouting and unnecessary violence against any object around her, like the wall in Sana and Dahyun’s dorm which still isn’t fixed yet.

“Nope.”

“You will, Sana!”

“I won’t,” She says in a matter-of-fact tone, grabbing another ball from someone’s hands, and Mina watches it deflate as Sana punches a hole in it with her studs implacably, and with it her whole sense of accomplishment, “You can figure it out yourself.”

Though Mina feels like she’s just been dragged to hell and back, continuously and non-stop, she adjusts her jersey to rid the sweat that ominously appears at Sana’s unnerving tone, and the two are in a heated stare until Momo walks over with a soccer ball tucked in between her hip and wrist.

“God, what do you want?” Sana shoots her a baleful stare, though it was instantaneous and almost as if Sana didn’t care who it was that was coming over.

“I was just giving you a new ball since you look like you need a new one,” Momo sets it on the grass in front of her expecting some thanks from either of the girls.

Mina senses Sana definitely wants to kick the ball so it hits her shins (something only the evilest would do), so she slides herself in front of her and an ‘oomph’ escapes her chest when Sana bumps behind her.

“Thank you, Momoring,” Mina quickly responds in a half reprimanding and half grateful tone, because Sana definitely needed a kick to get her head straight and at least say thanks that this practice wouldn’t be diminished because of her moody self.

“And Sana,” Momo continues and is met with a, “What do you want?” from Sana who appears from behind Mina.

“Our job is tonight, again, and I asked Nayeon to at least not stall time and finish early. That way, we both sleep well, and you don’t have to listen to me babble on. How’s that, princess?” This time, Momo’s tone is the snidest it’s ever been, and her gaze is met with Sana’s open-mouthed one.

Mina’s bites her nails and in sudden realisation, finally knows what’s wrong with Sana. But why did Momo call her princess?

Momo adds that she had dropped her library card that day and lays out her palm with a very amusing picture of a pink-haired Sana to the right of it, in a seemingly uncomfortable position and a very embarrassing smile that Sana rarely shows now.

“You little—” Sana stops herself before she gets elbowed by Mina in the side, and snatches the card out of Momo’s hand, and she follows with a forbidding gaze that means Momo might or might not make it to tomorrow morning.

Sana definitely still didn’t pass up trying to maul the other Japanese with her hands, and Mina’s in favour of restraining Sana’s inner revenge while she waves off to Momo who retreats to practicing with Dahyun, Jeongyeon and everyone else again.

“If you’re not gonna tell anyone why you hate her, I’m gonna start assuming you like her,” Mina says and its stern, very stern in fact and Sana knows she’s serious yet she, herself, feels totally indignant and has the gall to scoff this in Mina’s truthful, pure and forgiving face:

“In your dreams, Myoui.”

 

 

 

 

If having another shift with Momo that night counted as hell, Sana was more than sure she was breathing in her own death when Momo approaches her at lunch.

It was awfully loud, rowdy and boisterous and all in all annoyingly obnoxious to Sana’s sensitive ears, but they all quieten down when Jeongyeon eyes everyone the signal when she sees the girl come towards them.

“Sana, can I talk to you?”

“No,” Sana replies dryly and it’s followed by coughing reactions from her friends around her and a tight frown on Momo’s face.

Dahyun nudges her in her side and she grimaces, putting on a somewhat forced yet beaming smile, “I mean, sure, let’s talk.”

It only took a few moments of Sana awkwardly trailing behind Momo through the hallways and stairwells to reach the top of the school, where the sun was the hottest and probably the nicest it’s been in the past few days.

This doesn’t reflect Sana’s mood. Not one bit.

“So, what do you want?” Sana interjects the atmosphere and Momo sharply turns on her heels to face her and away from admiring the environment.

“An explanation.”

“Of what?” There was more attitude in her voice when Sana realises she must’ve wanted to know why she hates her, or better yet the reason behind it.

“You know, don’t you?” Momo grabs Sana’s hand impulsively and pats the patch of ground next to her, which was the ledge. She sits down and tucks her skirt underneath her thighs and Momo’s legs hung freely off the side.

Instead of worrying about how she’s scared shitless of heights and generally being in a place that’s above trees, she gulps and glances at her hand which Momo had touched, still in absolute awe and what the hell-ness, because Momo just grabbed her hand.

Still maintaining her cold expression, Sana takes a seat next to her though she’s more than scared and doesn’t utter a word after.

“S-so, what were we talking about?” Sana asks finally and her gaze fixes on the ground below and the tiny heads that make her even more queasy.

“Are you scared?” Momo asks, and Sana suddenly remembers where she was and her thoughts return as soon as Momo responds while laughing, because she hates that laugh, especially since it’s directed to her.

“Nope,” Sana says and she can’t meet Momo’s eyes, and her legs are dead still, “Heights are nothing.”

“Sure,” Momo shrugs, smiles and this is the first-time Sana actually bothers to face her and witness her smile, “I’ll take it as a yes.”

Ah, there was the hate. It never disappeared, just calmed down. As soon as Momo gets cocky, Sana gets livid—it’s never been different.

“Whatever,” she adds and regains her normal heartbeat, “And listen,” Sana says suddenly and she faces Momo properly, swinging her legs up and she hugs them, saving herself from near-death of experiencing her own fear, “I’m sorry.”

Sana, why are you apologising?

“I have an explanation to well, y’know,”

Sana, now’s the time to stop.

“But hatred doesn’t last forever, maybe in my case in might as well last that long,”

Sana, shut up!

“Truce?”

Momo’s surprised for a second, actually, dumbfounded because Sana’s attempting to regain whatever non-hostile acquaintance they had and well, it’s so out of the blue she doesn’t expect it and she sees Sana’s eyes quiver as if it wasn’t her talking in the first place.

Whatever hate Sana did have, evidently shown for the past two days, definitely vanished this time.

Momo shakes on it, and Sana can only pray she can get through the rest of this day without regretting having a solid foundation of a friendship with her.

Partially, it was her fault, but she blames Momo for bringing her to a ledge, having unannounced skinship and random sheepish stares at each other.

Yeah, it was her fault.

 

 

 

 

“Someone who's unsure where they're going, where they've been. They don't know up or down.”

Is that her?

“They are just trying to get through life but they're stumped on one thing and at the moment they're pretty sure that they’ll never figure it out.”

Could it?

“Their whole life is peaking on this, and they dropped the ball and know it. Somehow, they failed and will never forgive themselves.”

Sana finishes, dropping the book down and reclining back onto the seat that’s met with an ‘oomph’ as Mina and Nayeon both bounce back from Sana’s impact.

“What were you reading?” Nayeon asks, readjusting her hair, Mina also tuning in as she appears in Sana’s peripheral.

“Oh, some mental book, I dunno. I’m not crazy, by the way, just curious.”

“That’s exactly what people say when they’re crazy,” Mina chimes in and Nayeon nods in agreement.

“Is something wrong?”

“Nothing, promise.”

The duo both look at each other and Sana only returns it with a ‘what the hell are you thinking’ face, more than regretful she had even responded to Nayeon’s question.

“Something’s wrong!” Nayeon launches herself at Sana who’s sitting alone on the armchair, and pulls at her cheeks when she settles beside her, “C’mon, tell us.”

“Do you like Momo?” Chaeyoung buts in jokingly and all three girls turn to face in her direction of the bookshelves; Sana almost responds impulsively and much to her surprise, she holds it back.

“Christ, Chaeng, I didn’t even see you there,” Mina scuttles back up into an upright position after getting startled, and she returns her focus to Sana, “Anyways ignore Chaeng, that’d be impossible. So, you were saying?”

Impossible. Is it really that impossible?

“I guess… overthinking lately?”

Sana didn’t feel like getting interrogated right there and then, so after her answer she fakes herself feeling sick and returns to the dorm, more than confused; bewildered in every sense because she didn’t know what she was thinking.

Luckily for her, Dahyun wasn't in the room and she freely lobbed herself around it out of one of her normal tantrums.

She ends up on the bed, more than tired.

Hate can’t change so easily.

Now that. That’d be impossible.

 

 

 

 

Sana’s been tolerating the jobs for a few days, and although some shifts were inexplicably quiet, she can breathe without insulting Momo; it’s progress.

It wasn’t a secret after a few days having seen how Nayeon always hung around Mina, that she likes her more than you can imagine. It only took a day for Sana to catch on, and apparently Dahyun had kept it quiet at the expense of Nayeon who promised her money. That, obviously, didn’t happen.

It was during their free time that all of them, yes all of them, had gathered to eat outside for once.

Sana only gives a resigned look when she eyes Momo tucking her legs into the picnic bench, directly beside her, and she exhales deeply because she has no way out of this one.

Of course, Tzuyu had settled next to Mina and Nayeon was on the other side, one more reason Sana could’ve used to not come to their little outing. Momo gulps for a second and Sana feels a cold sweat on her brow as they both know how everyone feels about each other, and that someone’s bound to be hurt.

Dahyun, Jeongyeon, Jihyo and Chaeyoung sat on the floor where the mat was laid out, already tucking into the basket Jeongyeon had nicely made for everyone; sandwiches, ice cream, fruits, and hopefully constant eating would opt Sana out of conversation.

That’s not the case.

Momo just doesn’t stop talking, that’s what Sana hates.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” (Sana does mind) And Momo chews gracefully on a piece of her sandwich, her eyes meeting Sana’s once more, “For the past few years of just minding my own business while walking down the hallways, you’ve had blonde, silver, pink, pink-highlights, I was wondering why you…”

Momo continues to babble and Sana almost misses her question out of her own short attention span and wonders why Momo even mentioned looking at her while she walked down the hallways— when it was completely irrelevant.

“…dyed your hair brown this time?”

Sana catches her train of thought and she blinks once so the other brunette becomes clear, “Oh, I just,” Sana thinks for a moment because she just really likes dying her hair, though it won’t be a surprise to her if she ends up bald, “I just think brown’s more of a colour for me, y’know? away from the extreme? Plus, Dahyun hates pink and Jeongyeon’s sensitive to bright colours. I’m just doing them a favour.”

“That’s sweet of you,” Momo smiles and soon resumes to devouring every bit of food in front of her, and it’s not uncommon when most of your friends are literal pigs, and Sana loses herself for a second because only Mina’s ever called her sweet, and that’s the time she bothered to help Mina for her ‘help the penguins campaign’ during their freshman years.

Sana’s mind is empty for a while until she hears Momo’s giggle.

“Anyways, my turn to shoot,” Sana carries the conversation only because she’s sick of the three girls flirting mindlessly in front of them and the four girls on the floor attacking each other.

Momo was the only option, and well, she didn’t want that air to feel more awkward than it already was.

She thinks for a moment before saying, “Favourite movie?”

“I guess,” Momo responds, favouring the brunette’s conversation over the ham sandwich, “And I’m not nerdy I swear, but Spiderman.”

Sana stumbles overs her words for a second, lost in all means, “Really?”

Oh, right. She probably likes superhero movies like Dahyun.

She laughs again and places the cutest smile on her face because Sana was more than uneducated and naive in the world of superhero movies, “Isn’t Dahyun your roommate? She watches them all the time with me,” And she pauses, laying a hand on Sana’s shoulder, “You, princess, need to learn.”

Sana almost chokes on her drink, because Momo definitely needs to stop doing unexpected things.

Hammering her chest beyond need, Sana faces the girl and in a raspy tone suggests, “I’ll have you know I know more than you think.”

“Really?”

Sana hums and it’s a degraded heated stare down from the one they had when they had first spoke to each other and Momo finally stops eating to rebuttal.

“Then come to my dorm tonight, we’ll see how much you know by then.”

“What about Jeongyeon?”

“She’s visiting her parents—are you up for it?”

Sana certainly doesn’t back down to anything, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to back down from this.

“It’s a deal—and if I know more than you?”

“I’ll give you a prize.”

Sana only lets out a dry laugh as if a prize was enough to go and persuade her to have a movie night with Momo (and surprisingly, it was), and she’s still as cocky as ever. Their pinkies interlock and Sana thinks for a moment, because there’s one thing on her mind.

A prize.

 

 

 

 

“I think I might fail this,” Tzuyu says, and her palm meets her forehead since she can’t afford butchering another test that she dedicatedly studied for. Maybe.

“Don’t stress it,” Sana adds, laying a palm on her shoulder, though it doesn’t do her any consolation, “I failed all of mine at the ripe age of 18. Look at me now, I’m still unsuccessful, and living in an all-girls school because my parents didn’t want me at home.”

“That’s… nothing to be proud of,” Nayeon chuckles from behind them and two pairs of eyes stare back, one in the shape of moon crescents and one evidently flaring with lividness. You can guess who’s who.

“Oh, and Sana,” The older girl continues, “Momo said to give you this.”

And before Nayeon could show the library card, Sana’s face scrunches up in all types of disgusted, “God, Momo this, Momo that.”

“Still not fond of the blonde?”

Sana grits her teeth at the sight of her embarrassing library card once again in someone’s hands, and she’s more than sure Momo’s a pilfering thief, “She’s not even blonde,” She hisses and snatches the card out like she did before, zipping it up in her coat pocket almost instantly, “She dyed her hair like two hours ago.”

“And what were you doing seeing the one and only Kyoto princess Hirai Momo two hours ago?” Tzuyu buts in, somehow leaning on the lockers with one hand brashly.

Oh. She shouldn’t have said. They were only discussing superhero movies after their class, and, it might’ve turned into a lengthy conversational debate.

“I just saw her when I went out of class.”

“Yeah, uh-huh.” Nayeon and Tzuyu say in unison.

“I’m being serious here—,” Sana doesn’t know what to say after the two had clearly doubted her without any explanation, but it doesn’t matter, for Mina appears with the brightest smile and interrupts,

“Nayeon!”

Wait. Nayeon?

Mina locks her arms around the older girl causing Sana to quickly turn her head and Tzuyu’s cockiness she had just displayed earlier was totally gone, and that she would’ve torn the book apart she held in her grasp, if it wasn’t for Sana’s worried glare she shot.

“Tzuyu! I almost didn’t notice you!” Mina lowers her tone and is still glued next to the older girl, and it’s met with a, “Good timing, because I was just about to go with Sana somewhere!” from Tzuyu.

Before Sana could wholly deny it, because she had plans with Momo, (it’s quite disgusting to think she has plans with her, Sana thinks), Tzuyu snatches her hand and leads her down the hallway.

“What was that for?” Sana insensitively says and it comes out of her mouth without much thought.

Tzuyu doesn’t say anything, and Sana feels more than guilty.

“Look, I know how you feel,”

“You don’t, though, do you?”

She’s in shock for a moment, because she definitely knows how it feels to be rejected, or well, be rejected by someone you love more than anything, and she stays dead still in the empty dormitory hallway.

Tzuyu continues and it’s a rare sight, because everything happened too swiftly, the younger one had never cried in front of anyone, ever.

“I don’t understand.”

Sana stiffens and doesn’t reply, not verbally, but she could feel as if everything was rhetorical right now.

“I should let it go, right?”

She almost answers, though she’s never been in such a position, and right there and then she realises how naïve she was.

“Tzuyu, Mina loves—,”

“But she doesn’t.”

Sana’s impulsive wittiness virtually took the better of her, and she would’ve responded with a ‘As a friend, she does’, but for the first time, something dumb doesn’t come out of her mouth—because she’s totally silent.

The quietness didn’t help at all.

And Sana’s reminded of one thing, one thing she didn’t really want to hear.

“Falling in love has never been more terrifying.”

When hasn’t it?

 

 

 

 

“Why did you leave with Tzu this afternoon? I was left with Nayeon and Christ — oh, you’re sad. You’re definitely sad.”

Mina settles next to Sana as soon as their eyes meet and Sana shoots a self-deprecating smile though she doesn’t utter a single word.

Mina only stares absent-mindedly at the four cups of coffee scattered across the common room’s table, and back at Sana, back and forth and decides that Sana needs some talking to.

“I’m okay,” Sana clears her throat, sips the last of her coffee and clasps her hands together, “Can we talk outside?”

It was late into the evening and though it was incredibly humid outside, the duo sit on the concrete wall that outlooks the entrance of their school and constellations that appears every day at this time.

Mina breaks the silence while admiring the sky, “Is—something wrong?”

Sana kicks her feet and her gaze focuses downwards, “Maybe,” she inhales deeply as she continues, “My mind’s been misty ever since Jihyo fucked up this whole semester’s beginning.”

“Well, she’s done that for 3 years give or take,” Mina recounts and adds, “but I know this time it isn’t about her.”

Sana traces her finger over the uneven pebbles embedded into the wall, mutely and internally crying, because the reason one of her best friend’s sad, is right next to her.

“Love?”

“Oh,” Mina tucks her hands underneath her knees, looking concerned, as if she knows exactly why Sana had responded with love, “I would never do it purposely.”

Sana breathes, relieved, more than relieved actually, for she doesn’t have to explain herself and she huffs a small smile at her, “She’s hurt, Mina.”

Mina suppresses her frown, adding, “I’m not stupid. Tzuyu hasn’t spoken to me all day,” she steals a glance at the brunette who seems to be in her world and nudges her side, “What about you?”

“Nothing, just feel guilty.”

“For?”

“I’ve never been good with people. I hate them for no reason, declare I’m a good friend, but when the time comes? I’m shit. I’m mute. I’m doing all the things wrong because I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Mina senses the atmosphere stifling, and she knows exactly what Sana’s thinking, so she asks, quite relevantly, “Sana, what are you feeling?”

Sana stills for a moment.

She had always hated Momo, and it’s for one, sole, idiotic reason.

Maybe Mina was right.

_“If you’re not gonna tell anyone why you hate her, I’m gonna start assuming you like her.”_

Sana takes a deep breath, because the only reason she had such a hatred for Momo, why she utterly hated her guts, did anything to avoid her, was because well, she liked her.

Mina only stares at the floor, because she knows exactly what’s impending.

"It's hard to fall in love, it's scary... terrifying almost. I didn't fall in love with her at first, not because I didn't want to, my heart was scared and I couldn't break out,” Sana pauses, winces, because she’s sure as hell she isn’t going to mutter a sound of her name, “I may not have looked at her like all my first-loves at sight, but she made me realize love is more terrifying when you don't fall in love at all. I'm stupid, right?"

Mina doesn’t say anything, only gulps and realises how stupid Sana’s been for the three years she’s been at this school.

“You,” Mina says quietly, and she’s muttering at this point because she’s passed aghast, “Do you like Momo?”

Silence ensues again, and out of the pure dubiety of the atmosphere, Mina picks off a thread of her skirt, wrapping it around her finger, though she pulls it even more, irately almost, even if it ruins her clothing, for Sana finally adds,

“I don’t like her.”

Yet.

_I love her?_

But she doesn’t say that.

She can’t admit it.

It’s too early for her to say that.

 

 

 

 

The morning that follows only keeps Sana silent. She stood up Momo that night with no explanation, rather, she’s stuck in her own dorm room pretending to be sickly out of a fever.  
But of course, Momo doesn’t believe it. Because that’s the person she is.

Sana hides under the covers and pretends to not have heard Dahyun’s awfully loud whispering when the door clicks open.

‘ _Cheer her up, please.’_

She hears footsteps, and they’re considerably different from Dahyun’s heavy ones and the dulcet voice of Momo—which is the last thing she would ever want to hear before she entered the afterlife.

“Sana?” Momo asks, and Sana can feel her bed dip down when she takes her place next to her, and a hand rests on her head.

The brunette instantly sits up, avoiding any eye contact with the other for she already had enough of her fair share of anxiety, “You stood me up last night.”

“And? Something else was more important.” Sana feels her stomach drop, because really, Momo shouldn’t even be here. It hurts her more than ever.

Momo stays silent and it’s all too familiar for Sana that a humourless laugh escapes her lips, though a tight glower is on Momo’s, and she let’s go of the note in her other hand that’s not in Sana’s view.

“Should I go? I think that’s better. I’ll leave.” The latter feels her irregular breaths take the better of her when Momo answers her own question.

She did it, again.

 

 

 

 

The day wasn’t getting better. After getting forced out of her room by Mina, Sana feels absolutely lifeless as she hugs her legs atop the sofa, joined by the rest of them, including a very mute Momo to the left of her.

“Why are all of you so quiet?” Chaeyoung asks, because the longevity of the silence was far too long today.

Momo speaks up because she thinks so too, though it’s the complete opposite of what anyone would’ve wanted to hear in that peaceful common room.

“I would be talking, but unpredictably the person I enjoy talking with, astoundingly detests my existence and maybe, the feeling’s mutual.”

Mina shuffles out of Nayeon’s arm for a second, and glares at Tzuyu who’s head is far too low for her to be sleeping, rather, she’s crying, and Mina drops the water that was so tightly gripped in her hands.

“Stop!” Mina finally snaps and her whole body shoots up, everything’s in pieces and everything’s past broken, the glass meets the floor, digs into Mina’s skin, but she doesn’t wince once.

“Mina, you need to —,”

“I don’t give a shit!” And she stares directly at Momo who’s halfway up to go and help her, and Sana can’t find herself to speak up because she now notices Tzuyu, in all ways torn, and Nayeon, more than worried and surprised, and Sana feels in all way lost, because everything’s wrong right now, “you’re an idiot!”

“Just c-calm down,” Momo stutters, and she can almost see the questions appearing in her brain, “You’re injured.”

“She doesn’t hate you! And you shouldn’t hate her. She’s expected everything, wanted everything, and you’re gonna ruin her even more, and it’s going to be your fault. I’ll lose my best-friend because of you, and it’s your fault!”

Sana attempts to speak, but her legs are far too weak and she can see the faces of all the girls, open-mouthed and taken aback, and that Mina should shut up right now—because it wouldn’t help her.

Nothing really does go her way anymore.

“I don’t understand,” Momo barely manages to speak a clear sentence, and Mina’s eyes and the dead silence speak more than any of the word’s she was going to say.

Instead, Mina, doesn’t speak at all, for Sana finally breaks and stands up, though her knees are weak and her head spins too fast for her thoughts to process what she’s saying, and that Momo still had the audacity to go and try keep her up.

And that Sana moves back, away from Momo’s grasp, saying the wrong thing, almost apologising, as if it was a mistake it ever happened.

“I’m sorry that I love you, _I’m sorry_.”

Sana runs, nowhere in particular.

 

 

 

 

No one tries find her.

They know she would’ve preferred it that way.

But, it’s Momo, the one fucking girl in this whole entire world that she hates apart from Jihyo, that looks for her.

And it’s the place where they first had not felt they hated each other, the very top of the school, where Sana had hated, but felt most at peace.

“Can we talk, please?” Momo’s voice resonates behind her, and it’s a warm feeling though she doesn’t look back or flinch.

Momo takes a seat next to her anyway, sitting on the ledge.

“If I was down there. Right now. What would you feel?” Sana asks, and it’s an oddly weird tone, because she’s nor happy to see her or livid to see her, and its evident in her voice as her gaze is fixed down on the grass.

“I don’t get it.”

“I mean, how would life be without me. Easier, right?”

Momo’s shocked, actually, she’s frozen, because she doesn’t answer like she always does.

“You don’t have to answer,” The response is lukewarm, and Momo can’t help but feel guilty.

“I don’t think if you were living, why should I?” It’s unexpected, but her hand meets Sana’s, and she forgets everything she had ever said, every insult, “Promise me you won’t do… that.”

She stares at the grass seven stories below them, and back at Sana whose face is expressionless. She hates that.

Can’t Sana smile?

“I promise.”

“But can you promise me something else?” Momo asks.

Sana slightly nods, and it looks as if she wasn’t meant to.

“Promise me you’ll love me, and you won’t be sorry for it.”

Sana’s used to the pain, but she can’t say she doesn’t now.

“I’ll love you. And I promise it.”

Momo studies her for a moment, before smiling softly, “Thank you,” though her face is still inevitably guilt ridden, “for loving me.”

Sana smiles, and it’s probably the best she’s seen, because that’s the only thing Momo needed right now.

Her hand pulls her in, impulsively, for every time their gaze had locked she had wanted to do this, for the past years she had been looking, every time, regrettably, she had not done it, that she didn’t take her chance.

The kiss wasn’t crazy, it was everything right. Momo wasn’t demanding, she would be too insensitive to do that, Sana needed time, and she needed time to let go.

Sana doesn’t shy away from Momo’s hand tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, or the way her hand grips her neck, sensitively, softly, and nicely, and that Momo never disregarded her feelings and at that moment, Sana was happy.

Sana clearly didn’t want this at first, but by all means, Momo loved Minatozaki Sana, through the misunderstanding, hate and feud, even if Sana was unclear, even if Sana didn’t know if she still loved Hirai Momo like she used to.

This would be the start.

**Author's Note:**

> i haven’t touched it or altered it purely because i like to read over what i wrote in the past :3 i know it isn’t perfect or paced correctly, but i hope you enjoyed! i’m on twitter @ likeymina if you ever wanna shout at me


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